Whether you want to save your marriage for the sake of your children or you simply don't want to give up, saving your marriage alone can be difficult, but it is possible. There will be many things in your marriage that you can't control. You need to find a way to focus on the things you can change, and let go of the things you can't.

When you're working on saving your marriage alone, the most important thing to do is to realize that you can't control your spouses feelings or actions. The only thing you can do is change your own actions and your own reactions to the way your spouse is behaving. Start by taking the time to be honest and assess your relationship. Write down a list of things you'd change about your relationship if you were able to wave a magic wand.

Once you have this list, take a look and decide which things are completely out of your control. For example, if your spouse has a job that forces them to take frequent business trips, there's likely nothing you can do about it. As you go through the things that you can't change, ask yourself out loud, “Can I live with this?” You'll find that when you put problems into perspective, you'll often realize that you can deal with them much more easily.

After going through the list and finding the things you can't work on by saving your marriage alone, make a promise to yourself that you will no longer allow these things to upset you. Using the previous example, you would promise yourself that the next time your spouse has to go away for business and you feel yourself getting upset, you'll find a way to let it go. Remind yourself, “I can live with this,” and move on.

The next step in saving your marriage alone is to find solutions to the things you can change. For example, if you're upset by your family's finances, be proactive. Make a budget and let your spouse know that this budget needs to be adhered to. If you're doing this alone, you can't expect your spouse to take an active role. You will need to come up with the solutions and implement them. However, just because they aren't going to a be a part of the solution doesn't mean you have to continue to let them be part of the problem. Stick to your guns and make the changes you need to.

When you realize that you have to work on saving your marriage alone, you probably will count couples counseling as not being an option. This doesn't mean that you can't get your own counseling. If you're unable to talk to your spouse about your problems, you might find it helpful to discuss the situation with a professional. Sometimes talking to an unbiased and uninvolved third party can really help you to let go of some resentments that might be holding you back from enjoying your marriage.

Saving your marriage alone isn't easy and it can feel helpless at times. You need to remember that you've decided that the marriage is worth saving and that it's important to you. Don't allow yourself to get caught up in the things you can't change. Make specific plans to change the things you can and work hard to follow your plans.